Free Staters, meet the Granite State

Free Staters, meet the Granite State

by D. Allan Kerr • 10/04/03

Just as the British redcoats once marched on Lexington and Concord, a bunch of outside invaders are getting ready to march on the Granite State to impose their will. If they're not careful, they may wind up getting the same sort of reception.

If you missed it, an organization called the Free State Project has selected New Hampshire as the new home for 20,000 professed freedom-lovers expected to move in over the next few years. Their goal is to settle in, repeal our taxes and wasteful spending (presumably on things like public education), and free us from the shackles of big government by loosening gun, drug and perhaps prostitution laws. In short, they propose to grant us the gift of liberty.

How thoughtful.

Problem is, they propose to bestow this great offering by relocating here in a big enough bloc to be able to influence - if not take over - our state and local elections, then implement their own policies. It shouldn't be too hard considering less than 450,000 people in the entire state voted in the last general election. But check out some of the statements posted on their Web site, extolling their reasons for coming here. It reads like a blueprint for a democratic coup:

"New Hampshire offers the FSP (Free State Project) the most current political advantages to facilitate our ability to work within the political system to reduce the size and scope of government. ... Unlike any other state, in NH the FSP can win and win quickly!"

And elsewhere:

"In NH we have the critical ability to run fusion candidates - a guaranteed technique to put dozens of FSPers in office almost immediately - yet banned in Wyoming, Montana, North Dakota and Arkansas."

And furthermore (referring to our thriving economy and low taxes):

"By choosing NH we ensure the success of FSP by minimizing dropouts and enabling immediate ability to concentrate on political activism rather than economic concerns." And lastly:

"With both a coastal and international border, diverse terrain, a geographic size optimal for FSP purposes, abundant water resources, and ability to draw small government activists from the more populous states, NH is the perfect choice for the FSP state."

What is this, "Invasion of the Body Snatchers?"

I don't know much about these people, but I've seen pictures of their leaders and they're kind of creepy looking. The group is headed by some clean-cut over-earnest dweeby 26-year-old Ivy League grad who launched the movement with a paper he wrote as a student. Most of them are Libertarians.

If we want to take this scenario to its diabolical extreme, they also see this move as an opportunity to impact New Hampshire's first-in-the-nation presidential primary. What if they decide to put up one of their own in 2008, give this puppet instant credibility with a surprise primary win, and then take over the entire free world? Don't forget, Pat Buchanan won the 1996 Republican primary over eventual nominee Bob Dole by a vote of only 56,800-plus to a little more than 54,700. Imagine what 20,000 voters with a specific agenda could accomplish.

New Hampshire beat out nine other Free State finalists for the great honor of welcoming these folks, with Wyoming coming in second by about 10 percentage points. The good news is, the Free State Project currently consists of just about 5,000 people. They plan to start trickling in from all across the country - Alabama, New York, Michigan - but hope another 15,000 will follow over the next few years. Their goal is reportedly to relocate in the more sparsely populated areas of the state where they can swiftly make their power grab. As they note on their Web site, "Some NH districts have been won with only 720 votes and less than a few hundred dollars ...We can elect FSP members easily in NH!"

They even underline that last statement for emphasis.

But you have to wonder if these folks really know what they're in for.

Bottom line, FSPers, is you might not like it here anyway. We New Hampshirites are an ornery lot. We don't like people who aren't from these parts. We're not even too crazy about tourists, and they're willing to give us money for the privilege of visiting our mountains, lakes, shores and flea markets. Neighbors from Maine, Vermont and, yes, Massachusetts are tolerated, but they too can be irksome at times. If the ACLU would let us, we'd implement a law preventing transplants from voting in New Hampshire until they've resided here for at least 10 years. OK, maybe five.

You are apparently charmed by our state motto of "Live Free or Die." Perhaps you haven't realized the significance of this wording. In other words, if you think you're going to move here and dictate our destiny, you need to reevaluate how badly you want to cross these borders. Based on your Web site you're attracted to New Hampshire for our independent spirit, but don't seem to realize this spirit precludes us from passively letting freakish plant people take over our state.

If you want to move here for the state's scenic beauty, job opportunities and tranquil way of life you're more than welcome. (Well, eventually.) And some of your objectives will likely be embraced by Granite Staters. But if you're coming here with some sort of manipulative Machiavellian agenda, you might get a rock-hard lesson in what Yankee independence is all about.

D. Allan Kerr is himself a transplant to New Hampshire, but both his boys were born here. Kerr may be contacted at the_culling@hotmail.com. The Free State Web site is www.freestateproject.com.

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