Recipe for a Free State
NOTE: The opinions and commentary expressed in this essay are those of the author and are an exercise of free speech. They do not necessarily represent the views of Free State Project Inc., its Directors, its Officers, or its Participants.
Recipe for a Free State
by Philip Denisch
1 1/2 cups (3/4 pound) butter
1 pound confectioner's sugar (10x powdered)
1 teaspoon vanilla
2 3/4 cups flour
chocolate chips (milk chocolate, semi-sweet, and mini size)
chocolate bars (milk chocolate, white chocolate, and dark chocolate)
Run to the oven and quickly set the dial for 325 degrees Fahrenheit, because we can’t get a free state fast enough. Then slow down, realizing it won't be had in a day.
Skip to the freezer, because you're happy the free state is on its way and place the chocolate bars inside. Go to the sink, turn the water on and marvel at the wonders of indoor plumbing. If you don't have indoor plumbing, what are you doing baking a cake?!
The grizzlies are probably just outside your door, watch out! Run! Run! For the rest of us, walk to the refrigerator and take out the butter. Hold them high in the air as you make aaah-aah angel sounds and gently place each of the 3 sticks of butter on the counter top. Honor them and say their names with reverence as you lay them down. The stick of Liberty, the stick of justice, and the stick of commerce.
Skip over to a chair and study Ludwig Von Mises's "Human Action". The butter should be soft by now. Place the butter into a large bowl (again with the aaah-aah angel sounds). Get out your handy-dandy hand mixer, although it doesn't mix hands nor does it mix things by hand, anyway… turn it on and mix up the butter until the liberty, justice and commerce are blended well together, or is it blended together well.
Either way, journey over to the cabinet and get out your powdered sugar. Gently pour the sweet sense-of-life powdered sugar into the butter while reciting the Ode to the FSP and mix until they meld into a joyous combination of complimentive tastes. At this point you may want to stick your finger in and take a taste -- well worth it. You could use a spoon if there's someone watching.
After that, locomote over and fetch your eggs. You will want to add one ovum at a time to the mix, stirring well between each addition. May I suggest first, that you start with the egg of freedom, from which all else grows. Next the egg of capitalism, to bring about a standard of living next to none. The egg of tolerance should be next, so that even those not just quite like you won't get in the way of getting your freedom. The egg of bravery can go in next, for the cooking of a free state won't always be easy. The egg of wisdom needs to be in there also, difficult to get, but worth a great price. The final egg is tenacity, sometimes you just need to keep on going.
Add the vanilla next. The potent, almost pungent, extract that gives a zing, without overpowering. Kinda like the eccentricities of those "unique" people with "refreshing viewpoints "we meet from time to time.
The final addition to the base of the cake is flour. Solid, firm, reliable flour. Think of it as common sense, holding together the other ingredients. Permeating the whole, saturating the entire conglomeration with sagacity and reason. Intoning upon the totality of the project a sense of…sorry, got carried away a bit.
Slowly add the flour while beating, recalling the main points of John Galt's radio speech to the country. Mixing by hand or better yet with spoon in hand, introduce the chocolate chips into the batter. First the semi-sweet, only half the bag, though, we don’t want too much homogeny. Add the teeny-tiny chips next, this will please all of the miniarchists. The milk-chocolate chips can be sent in next to mix with the whole and, like the others, never lose their own identity.
Get the chocolate bars out of the freezer, take the white and dark chocolate ones and throw them into the trashcan, we don’t want any violent extremists. Break up the milk chocolate bar with the back of a spoon and crumble it into the mix. All the little odd bits-and-pieces will help hold the whole thing together.
Pour the batter into one 10 inch tube pan (for you big, out-west types) or two 9 x 5 inch loaf pans (for you "right-coasters") while singing the Ray Charles version of "America". Place into the oven for about an hour or until a wooden pick comes out clean. Re-read Leonard Read's "I, Pencil" while smoking a cigar, puffing a pipe, quaffing an India Pale Ale, guzzling a glass of ouzo, talking dirty under your breath or whatever else you want to do until it's time to prepare the frosting.
When the cake is done, let it cool in the pan 5 minutes and then cool on a wire rack completely before frosting, we wouldn't want the thing to tear apart when we try to frost it, now would we?
1 cup milk
instant pudding (4 serving size), any flavor, chocolate's my favorite, as if you didn't know
1/2 cup powdered sugar
8 oz. tub frozen whipped topping
Mosey on over to the freezer and take the frozen whipped topping out and put it into the refrigerator. Read Ayn Rand's "Philosophy: Who needs it", and Murray Rothbard's "Man, Economy and State". That should be enough time for the whipped topping to thaw.
In a bowl, pour in the milk. You are, of course, Free To Choose and pour the milk right on the table, but trust me on this, it works better if you use a bowl.
Add the instant pudding mix next, beating and whipping and stirring. A bit of sweet, sense-of-life powdered sugar next that makes you want to stand up and say, "When in the course of human events…"Do some more beating and whipping and stirring.
Now, gently, and I mean this, gently take the whipped topping and fold it slowly and carefully into the pudding mix. Pretend you're writing a constitution or something and you want to make sure each word is exactly right, each phrase, just as it should be.
When the mixture is consistent, pause for a moment, and think about a distant ancestor who may have been enjoying a nice juicy root he'd just dug up at this time of day.
The penultimate step is to frost the cake, and remember, if you don't make a mess, you're not doing it right. The last step is to share this cake and what it means with as many people as you can, so we can all eat cake -- and in this one instance only, have it too.
Frosting variation: make 1/2 or 1/4 of recipe with different pudding flavors and swirl them around to give that "a-herd-of-cats-just-stampeded-on-my-cake" look.
Aug 6, 2002
The views expressed in this essay do not necessarily represent those of Free State Project, Inc., its Directors, or its Officers.