NOTE: The opinions and commentary expressed in this essay are those of the author and are an exercise of free speech. They do not necessarily represent the views of Free State Project Inc., its Directors, its Officers, or its Participants.

Porçerwocky
by Phil Denisch

'Twas chattig and the govy beauves,
Did byre and givle in the hof;
All ovis were the citioves,
And the jabuthus aratuf.

"Prepare the Porçerwock, my son!
The quills that guard, the feet that walk!
Prepare the plebpleb bird, and run
The lofitus solisilock."

He took his epeel pen in hand:
Long list of brarous names he sought–
So tested he by the Yallee tree,
And coalesced his thought.

And, as in libbish thought he stood,
The Porçerwock, with unknown name,
Came deeving through the world for good,
And zeecosed on the aim.

Five thou, Five thou! And on to twenty,
The epeel pen had found its knack,
A state to choose, and never lose,
Of freberty we'll never lack.

"And hast thou deign the Porçerwock?
Come to your state, all happy signers!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!
You are the sun out-shiners!"

Not chattig nor the govy beauves,
No byre and givle in the hof;
Now pardus are the dorsatii
And all the ushakus livee.

This is the kind of thing that can happen when you have unprotected sex with the muses.
With apologies to Mr. Carroll's original.